Okay, parents, it’s time to update those toy wish lists now
that Amazon has emailed me the top “must have” toys for 2011. Hey, just in time,
Amazonians; I’d hate to ring in 2012 without my very own “Beyblade Metal
Masters Triple Battle Set” where kids can customize their brand- new, genuine
plastic “battle arena” and pit spinning metal tops against one another in an
intense game of last-top-standing.
Now I understand why the Mayan Calendar cycle ends in 2012 – it’s
not that we’ll finally upset the ecological balance enough to power- down the
planet, it’s that the Mayans are giving up and allowing the Japanese to take
over the world of juvenile imagination. Sure, the Pokemon and Bakugan crazes
may be over, but “Beyblade” will reach a whole new generation of kids with
card/toy sets that challenge parents to spend hard earned dollars on para-martial
drivel.
However, if your child’s tastes don’t run to the ultimate
battle scenario, don’t think you’re off the hook. Oh, no. It seems your little
darling will be asking for Princess Charm School Barbie. Some of us thought
Barbie couldn’t possibly get any pinker, but we were wrong. The latest addition
to the Barbie line-up arrives with a school uniform that clips off to reveal a “short,
fun party dress.” Way to go, Barbie; didn’t your mom tell you that modesty is
always in style? Well, revealing party-wear aside, Barbie knows that if you
want to attract a royal, you can’t flaunt street-corner mojo. She was taking
notes, apparently, during Will and Kate’s wedding. Therefore, the party dress
magically transforms into a long gown when she discovers her heritage as a “long
lost princess.” Amazon doesn’t say
anything about providing a larger-than-life hat to complete the ensemble, so
you may need to find Barbie a haberdasher on your own.
So, Barbie discovers she’s secretly royal. Maybe she ends up fighting for her kingdom
with a “Beyblade Battle Top.” It’s a little unclear.
In any case, get those credit cards warmed up because these toys
are coming soon to a Christmas list near you.
No pink Barbie, (princess or not) doll for me, thanks. I want Monster High's Abbey Bominable with pet miniature wooly mammoth.
ReplyDeleteBtw, were beyblades not a thing during your first round of boys? They were big in Gabe's era. I suppose they went underground for a bit and were revamped in a form less likely to unexpectedly zizz into orbit and take a swath of your face off en route. I'm pretty sure I recently disposed of a stadium and assorted broken parts.
(my captcha word was "ringu," which also happens to be the noise made by gel-eating baby-dolls, circa 1970, when their motor-driven jaws operated...ringuuuringuuuringuuu...)
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